


On my own.

by Sayumi_Kioko



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Happy Ending, M/M, No Dialogue, POV Lucifer (Supernatural), Pre-Slash, Season 11 Finale, Some angst, Soulmates, Translation, i guess?, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 09:34:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16741489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sayumi_Kioko/pseuds/Sayumi_Kioko
Summary: Lucifer thinks about his life while he's in the Cage and relizes that maybe he's not made to be alone.





	On my own.

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [On my own.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14557233) by [Sayumi_Kioko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sayumi_Kioko/pseuds/Sayumi_Kioko). 



> Hello! I hope you like this little work here :)  
> English is not my first language, so be kind with me!  
> I was inspired by this song: On my own - Ashes Remain.

While I was locked up in the Cage I never thought that it could exist somebody who would fight by my side. Of course, I didn’t count those disgusting demons that followed me like I was their own God, like they were some puppies and I was their awesome and strong owner. I never thought about that until Sam and Dean Winchester trapped me there again.

I tried to get out of the Cage thousands of times. So many that I didn’t even remember the number, I just stopped counting because it was boring to me. But I was never successful and it was very confusing and frustrating to the point that I just surrendered.

I could get out once thanks to my disgusting puppies, but those kids trapped me with the “We should save the world because it’s our work” excuse and the “The Devil is free because of me so I have to fix it” bullshit. They caught me unaware and because of that I was locked up again in that stupid Cage.

At least this time I had a consolation prize. I had with me the soul of that damned Winchester and Michael was there too, suffering the same punishment than me. I beat him up all I could, wanting some revenge, wishing I could escape again because I couldn’t stand being there again. But that coward got out with some help and then I was there alone once more because my brother didn’t talk to me.

Alone. In the darkness. I thought about a lot of things until I got out for the second time. Lucky me, this time I hadn’t had to wait so many years, though it seemed like an eternity to me. I had to lie to Sam, my vessel, and even it hurt me I had to take advantage of the opportunity to be free again. I couldn’t stand to be in the Cage one second more.

It was not exactly Sam the one who let me use his body to get out of that awful place, but for the moment I didn’t care. Besides I hadn’t had time for thinking about that, I needed to get rid of my lovely auntie. I was sure that she still hated me for helping my father when He locked her up.

Suddenly, I was helping the Winchester brothers to find a Hand of God to defeat her, but when I realized that I was alone with Sam and that it was useless keeping me hidden I tried to kill him. But I couldn’t and I couldn’t either hate him or his brother when they got my father asking for my forgiveness.

Then I was ready to give everything up for the world, for my father, for the Winchester and not for me alone. But before I could do anything I was again in a place I knew too well. We wanted lock her up and it was me the one who was living this nightmare once more.

I yelled “Let me out!” again and again, I didn’t want them to forget about me again, I didn’t want to be alone, I couldn’t stand the thought alone of being again in that darkness.

I ended up tired of yelling and shouting and I sat and hugged myself. Then I couldn’t think about anything but this one person, the same person who actually freed me every single time. Sam Winchester.

I prayed for him to get me out of this awful place for the last time, I begged for him to come looking for me to that damn darkness once more and that he didn’t let me go back to that prison. That place that had been created only for me and my pride. That place that was breaking me every day I was there. I just couldn’t hold me together anymore, I needed someone fighting by my side, someone supporting me.

I wanted to have hope and, in fact, I had it. I knew that sometime someone would come back for me because if no one did it I would end up again being a big ball of hate and resentment.

Then I realized. I was an archangel, the first God’s creation, but like him I didn’t want to be alone, I wasn’t made to fight against the world, to not have someone with me. I was more human than I could have expected and that, again, confused and hurt me.

Everything I knew, everything I had learnt in my long millennia of life wasn’t of any use. I should get rid of all of that to be free but I needed too that someone, that Sam Winchester, came back to get me out of there one time more.

He, Sam, had been the one who had gotten me, one way or another, to realize that. If it wasn’t for him I would have not get to that point and for that, if he freed me, I would give everything to protect him. He was much bigger than the world full of hate that I had made in my surroundings for so long.

I just prayed over and over for him to forgive everything I had done, that he let me be a part of his life. As my vessel, he was the only part that I had missing and I didn’t want to be incomplete anymore.

He told me that I didn’t need to fight alone or at least I knew he meant that when he made my father and me talk, when he gathered us all together. Him, my father, Rowena, Crowley, me and everyone else to lock my aunt up again.

That’s why I was ready to let all my problems behind, to drop all my hidden weapons to destroy the world my father had created. I was ready to be part of Sam Winchester and not the other way round, I just had to wait.

I had realized that it was impossible to be the only one with that feeling and that Sam wasn’t going to cast me away, not this time. So when I saw myself once again in front of the human I wasn’t surprised and I wasn’t either when he let me in without opposing even a little so I could get out of the Cage forever and live in peace. Or at least the peace I could have in the Winchester’s life.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this fanfic ^^  
> If you see any mistake please let me know so I can correct it! :)


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